Talk:They Call Her Nina/@comment-25326117-20160408034534
1) Backtwo years ago: 2) I just finished my Junior High School Era, and up for a lonely celebration. 3) I just let my bike take me away from my home. 4) Where else could I find some nice view of ancient buildings with Victoria style, beside "The Thousand Doors" (Javanese : Lawang Sewu) building? 5) I took the north route and then drove my bike to the North side of the city, where some remnants of Dutch colonization remain. 6) After two hours of hectic travel, I finally could drive calmly on the paved roads. 7) I passed by the first train station in Indonesia, The Marabunta Theater Building, the oldest post office in the city, everything was so beautiful. 8) However, it was really unexpected, when I decided to drive randomly; I was somehow invited into an old house. 9) That calming touch crawled down to my back, and then was gone. 10) In the following moment, a fragrant scent of flowers snuck into my nose. 11) I turned around to see what was behind me, and realized that I was at the front of an old house. 12) Strange, it was unlike the other house; it was neat, clean, and beautiful. 13) It made me almost believe that the house was recently built, but who is going to build such a house in a district where even a renovation requires few permissions from the city government directly? 14) An intention to see the interior of the house popped inside my mind; I might be able to persuade the owner, that I am one of the history admirers in the city, in fact I am to be honest. 15) I saw that the door was beautifully made and designed, therefore I knocked on it slowly, avoiding accidentally scratching such a beautiful deco. 16) For a few moments I waited, and then a sound came from the door forced me to stand firmly. 17) The next thing I saw was a pretty young, European girl, in some old classic clothes. 18) She wore a long-dressed shirt with laces on the wrist, a skirt which is as tall as her knees, a pair of long socks, and some nice boots. 19) Her hair was long, light brown, and with a beautiful ribbon shaped like a butterfly clipped on it. 20) At the same time, I heard some beautiful music coming from inside. 21) We were walking together, but whenever I spoke to her; she only replied with smiling, nodding, or not replying at all. 22) After two hours, I decided to finish my tour. 23) I looked everywhere and found her carrying a tray to the living room, containing two porcelain cups and a teapot. 24) The air was cold, so I nodded and joined her. 25) She poured the tea gently, and then she finally began speaking, but the problem is, she was talking in Dutch. 26) She talked a lot and I didn't even catch a single meaning of her words, so I just did my best to make her feel that I could understand her, by laughing or nodding. 27) It wasn't painful like an ordinary headache, it was more like when you are sleepy. 28) I tried to keep myself sitting properly, but every time I forced myself, my head got heavier. 29) The cup in my hand crashed and shattered on the floor; I gave up, and fell to the floor. 30) An old man sat near me; spreading a warm scent of cajuput oil to me within breathing distance from a little bottle in his hand. 31) "Are you okay?" he asked me. 32) "Where am I? Where was that house?" I replied. 33) The old man smiled, touched my shoulder, and said, "That was Nina! Don't be afraid, she means you no harm." 34) He said that Nina was a dear friend of his from back in the ages of Dutch Colonization. (Overall, it was a good story and as Thatlilonewithglasses said, it was hard to focus on, especially since there was a lot of Broken English. It's not bad; the idea that the narrator meeting up with a ghostly girl from the Dutch Colonization Era is pretty intriguing. I hope that you can go back and correct some of the mistakes or at least of the admisters might do some editing, because you have a lot of potential as a writer).